Congratulations to last week's IM Athlete of the Week, Joe "The New York Jet" Breen (2012). Breen, known better to pundits as "The Kisco Disco," ran his way into our hearts during last Tuesday's XC championship. Joe finished first among a robust roster of Saybrugians, most of whom were not actually running out of intense loyalty to discussion section.

Congratulations to last week's IM Athlete of the Week, Naz "Curtis Painter" El-Khatib (2012). Naz, known better by pundits as "QB 2", took another step forward in his storied IM career during last week's football matchup against Davenport. El-Khatib, who has played his entire career as a wideout on Saybrook's men's team, got called up to the Big Leagues (the co-ed team) following a devastating ankle injury to the handsome and quick-witted starting QB. Needless to say, the coaching squad was nervous. They knew, of course, that no Saybrugian would be able to fill the considerable shoes of the injured quarterback. They were unsure, however, whether they could even avoid embarrassment. The Blue and Gold would be starting a wide receiver at quarterback who hadn't played a single game in the co-ed system. What's worse, they'd be doing it against defending champions Davenport, whose hungry defense has been known to gobble up linemen and quarterbacks alike. Needless to say, Naz silenced the haters. The "Pennsylvania Kid" used his quick feet and healthy ankles to scramble out of the pocket and pick apart Davenport's Swiss cheese (and man-down) defense. He called upon his above-average intellect to find seams in the pass coverage. His passable throwing arm, meanwhile, sufficed to lob the pigskin to Saybrook's star receiving corps. When the dust had settled, the co-ed team's newest hero had led them to a shocking 20-7 upset of theDavenport Maroon Unicorns. Was El-Khatib's admirable performance enough to launch him up the depth charts, past the likes of co-ed's golden-armed wunderkind? No, decidedly not. But for a day--one fleeting but glorious day--Naz El-Khatib went above and beyond the call of duty. For his considerable efforts, Naz will receive 30 Philadelphia Phillies playoff tickets and the unflinching respect of his peers.

Congratulations to last week's IM Athlete of the Week, Melanie "Shooter" Borinstein (2015). Melanie, known better to pundits as "The Minx of the Links," turned in an historic and emotional performance at last week's Borsodi Open. Many will remember Borinstein for her tenure as a high school prodigy in the golf-crazed hamlet of "Los Angeles." Indeed, the future appeared limitless for the "Can't-Miss Kid" and her butter-smooth swing. Dark days followed, however, as Melanie slowly collapsed under the glare of the media spotlight.